When two Tribes go to war

The whole of Britain is today celebrating as The houses of parliament fell into ruin following a Frankie goes to Hollywood ‘Two Tribes’ styled battle took place between every member of parliament.

The whole scenario took place during prime ministers question time when someone in the public viewing gallery threw an apple at the back of David Cameron’s head and shouted to Nick Clegg that ‘Davey just called you a useless little turd’ to which Nick Clegg responded ‘That’s all I can stand, and I can’t stand no more’. He then launched himself at Cameron in a fantastic rugby styled tackle, sweeping Cameron off his feet.  Then everyone else in the commons joined in.

This was typified by the site of Ed balls climbing up the side of one of the aisles and leaping onto George Osborne wrapping his legs around his neck whilst pounding him in the ears screaming ‘YOU BELLIGERENT CUNT, I HATE YOU’. George Osborne was seen crying again.

Pandemonium ensued when Iain Duncan smith decided to take it upon himself to rip his shirt off revealing his S.S uniform underneath ‘Es ist die Zeit für die wahre Herrenrasse; die Welt zu nehmen, Heil Mich! ‘ Roughly translating to,‘ It is the time for the true master race to take over the world, Heil me!‘ At that point chaos transcended as at least 40 000 people watching in their homes, closely enough to get to him  went for the twat, who quickly realised that noone actually liked him; he was last seen floating off into the north sea, lets hope he never comes back!

Finally as the dust settled the few remaining MPS were dragged away by the police when it was quickly realised that they didnt work for elites but were policing only by consent. With this accepted, and a quick realisation by the masses that actually they are far better at governing themselves: a quick rational decision was made to remove all Big banks, corporations and land ownership. ‚NO MORE PROBLEMS!‘ Said a spokesman for the people.

This quickly spread to europe and the rest of the world with governments and elites quickly surrendering their power or facing guillotine for being sociopaths.

The final resolution occurred when a huge spaceship landed, Colonel Zog of the Intergalactic worlds federation spoke telepathically to the people of Earth; ’Finally with the breakdown of corporate and elite interests, the human race can finally evolve into its true potential‘ with that all the missing answers to life the universe and everything was transferred into every human mind.

Noone knows for sure what the future will hold but one thing is for certain, its better than the shit we have been going through!

Tim mattock

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